Never take your marriage for granted.
My wife and I have been married for just over six years. My wife is an amazing source of joy and fulfillment in my life, but I assure you it has not been without our share of struggles. I fully believe that strong marriages are one of the keys to changing this world. I laugh at the modern assumption that traditional marriage is outdated, because there is no better picture of our relationship to God than a working marriage. The thing is, to have a successful and thriving marriage it takes intentional work. Hard work. Sometimes knockdown, drag-out work. Let’s look at one verse as an example:
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” – Ephesians 5:25
How much power and insight is packed into this one verse!
“Love your wives as Christ loved the church…” What was Christ’s relationship to the church? We rebelled against him. We despised him. We killed him. We are selfish, childish adulterers constantly whoring after our own fulfillment in life and completely neglecting the one who loves us. Some bride of Christ we are… Yet Christ still loves us. In spite of our inability to live up to his standard he gave up his life for us. He did not focus on being right. He did not hold over us the standard we were not living up to. He did not divorce us, though he had every right to do so. Instead, he stood beside us. He intercedes for us. He took the disgrace that we were due onto himself instead – not like a passive man being walked over, but as a warrior conquering evil.
Our marriages deserve nothing less. Our spouses (both husbands AND wives) will never be perfect. They will be selfish, childish and sinful despite our best efforts. They will disappoint us. They will fall short of our standard. They will be adulterers, if not in action then in their hearts and minds. Yet our role is still to love them. We are to stand beside them. Forgive them. Pray for them. Lead them. Not as passive men and women who are being walked over, but as active warriors who are fighting to make our marriages reflect a fraction of the love God has shown to us.
When we fight for our marriages, we don’t just defend them. We actively attack the things that would tear us apart. Don’t ever rest. Never assume your marriage is immune. To the best to your ability do all you can to emulate Christ every day. By the grace of God you may see an amazing transformation in your marriage, and you will become an example for the rest of the world to follow.